By WEENA SALVADOR MEILY
Association of Women in Theology
Jer 20:10-13
Ps 69:8-10, 14, 17, 33-35
Rom 5:12-15
Mt 10:26-33
Matteo and Sophie
I was blessed by children today. Two children, actually. A young girl, 10-year old Sophie, and a 3-month old baby boy, Matteo. Sometimes, one can’t contain oneself, by the joy these two pure souls may offer this poor, weak soul. Life can be so burdensome. Once you reach this age, at 62, patience can be so remote. But when once in a while there unfolds something that makes you just sigh, take a deep breath, and smile, that is blessing. And this blessing can take away fear! And what did these two beautiful creatures teach me? Thanks to Matteo’s mother who is an advocate of breastfeeding and is dedicated to bringing up this little one close to her heart. What touched me is this baby’s complete total trust as he clings to Mama, as she holds him, carries him dearly in her arms. Love casts out fear. And Sophie? Her simplicity, her appreciation of the Retreat House surroundings and her closeness to family, shows her complete trust in this extended family of aunts, uncles and a loving grandmother. Truly, family love, casts out fear.
A Nasty Disorder
Anxiety Disorder can be nasty. It is a type of mental health condition that can creep into your innermost parts and drag you deep down into a dark abyss. Pretty much like a depressive disorder. Actually, depression and anxiety are partners. But fortunately, they are manageable and treatable. I can pretty well manage my episodes that don’t visit regularly anymore. On occasion, yes, but never on a regular basis at this point in my life. And what causes this mental health condition? FEAR. If you did not experience a happy childhood, you may be one who was traumatized by events in your early childhood or even earlier at the onset of conception in your mother’s womb. You may be a survivor of an attempted abortion. You may be a survivor of your parents’ violent episodes. You may have been a victim of physical, sexual or verbal abuse. Children tend to carry within them the imprint of these experiences as fears and if not addressed, in later years may be manifested in anxiety disorders and depression. But there is always good news. Always GOOD NEWS. And the good news is that there is healing! As human beings, it is our nature to desire control over things in our everyday life. Of course, this is an impossible task. We cannot control things. Even if my AD can be medicated it cannot be cured. But I am healed. And when the human spirit takes over, healing takes place. The healing path is wide open for possibilities. When the open path to healing welcomes and acceptance of my condition takes over, I begin to manage my challenge. The greater challenge is to transform this condition into the grace much needed to grow.
Have Fear And Do Not Delay
And lo and behold for those wielding power and might, tyranny and dictatorship. They think they have all the wealth and a mighty hand that can bring all their worldly desires at their feet. They think their wealth can make them forever young and enjoy life’s pleasures at the expense of the oppression and exploitation of the poor and of Creation. Listen to the cries of the poverty of the land, the lamentations of the homeless, the wailing of the widows and orphans. Listen, and have fear! Fear for their lives deprived of their basic needs. Fear for their suffering because of your excesses! Fear now and do not delay!
The Prophet, the Psalmist and the Assurance of Jesus
In the readings today, Jeremiah and the psalmist both cling to a stubborn hope, a firm conviction that they will see the wrongs against them righted in their lifetimes. They may have been so wrapped in fear that they can only “cling to a stubborn hope”! The hope that is so stubborn that God has indeed given them the strength and assurance that the prophet and the psalmist needed. “But the Lord is with me, like a mighty champion: my persecutors will stumble, they will not triumph.”(v.11) A prophetic life is not easy. Pinpointing the wrongs of others in order to “make the way straight”, “forge a path in the wilderness”, “prepare the way of the Lord”, must be a daunting task. The price can be your head! Remember John the Baptist?!
In the Gospel reading, Jesus gives a guide for his disciples who may still live in fear. Here is a set of signposts of Jesus’ assurance for discipleship living. This was not given by Jesus exclusively for his disciples but this is for all of us, lay people too, who, in our everyday lives are hounded by how to put food on the table…
Fear is inevitable, but with faith we can overcome this, and it should not prevent us from doing what God wants us to do.
God is always with us and will provide for our needs in whatever we do.
Jesus assures us that he will acknowledge us in heaven as we acknowledge him before others.
It must have been difficult for the disciples of Jesus to go forth and begin the mission of evangelization! Just think about all the things Jesus forewarned them about. Rejection and persecution are part of the mission. But Jesus’ assurance should have kept their fears at bay. And they continued, and persevered to the end. I am reminded just now, about our Brother Administrator in this Retreat House, who will be going to a foreign country for further cultural and spiritual studies. His fears are well-founded. Imagine a country totally alien – people, culture, traditions, language, etc. But the assurance of Jesus in the gospel will guide him through and through. The graces transforming this my Brother’s fear, are faith and hope.
The Gift of Fear
Fear can be a problem, but it also can be a gift. We can call on fear to guard our hearts. When some ill intentions overpower us, as Christians we can call on our Fear of the Lord, a fear that keeps us on the right track, keeps us in check, and secures our good intentions and lovingkindness are at the forefront.
Some Collected Thoughts
Here are some beautiful collected thoughts from some spiritual writers that have guided me throughout my Solitary Pilgrim journey. A big part of my healing these writings are. More of a healing from the pains brought about by fears of aloneness, deep shadows, and the vastness of the ocean of life…
From A Desert In The Ocean, by Rev. David Adam
“No matter what our age, we need to continue to be aware and moving or we begin to die. Adventure and moving is a sign of life:
‘Old men ought to be explorers
Here and there does not matter
We must be still and still moving
Into another intensity
For a further union, a deeper communion
Through the dark cold and the empty desolation
The wave cry, the wind cry, the vast waters
Of the petrel and the porpoise. In my end is
my beginning. (T.S. Eliot, 1944)’ “
From The Dance Of Life, by Henri J.M. Nouwen
“Any dance of celebration must weave both the sorrows and the blessings into a joyful step…
To heal is to let the Holy Spirit call me to dance, to believe again, even amid my pain, that God will orchestrate and guide my life.”
From the great Eastern Poet, Hafiz…
A reminder that in my heavy heart, my depressive state, I forget…in my unmindfulness there is no space for remembering. I ask God then, to untangle my feet from all my fears so that I may dance the Sacred Dance of Life!
“I sometimes forget
That I was created for joy.
My mind is too busy.
My heart is too heavy for me to remember
That I have been called to dance
the Sacred Dance of Life.
I was created to smile
To love
To be lifted up
And to lift others up.
O Sacred One
Untangle my feet
From all that ensnares.
Free my soul.
That we might dance and
That our dancing might be contagious.”
Balik-Tanaw is a group blog of Promotion of Church People’s Response. The Lectionary Gospel reflection is an invitation for meditation, contemplation, and action. As we nurture our faith by committing ourselves to journey with the people, we also wish to nourish the perspective coming from the point of view of hope and struggle of the people. It is our constant longing that even as crisis intensifies, the faithful will continue to strengthen their commitment to love God and our neighbor by being one with the people in their dreams and aspirations. The Title of the Lectionary Reflection would be Balik –Tanaw , isang PAGNINILAY . It is about looking back (balik) or revisiting the narratives and stories from the Biblical text and seeing, reading, and reflecting on these with the current context (tanaw).
